The beauty of familiarity

Currently I live away for that 'so familiar land' where the language is my mother tongue. Do I miss all this consciously ? no. But somewhere in my sub conscious I do.
I remember, I had been to China, some years ago, and had felt so nice when i met another person who knew my language. We gelled well immediately. In fact I am still in touch with a person whom I met accidentally at the Chinese market. Off course through Fb.
It rained yesterday. But the rains are not as lovely as they in the place I come from. Or from the place I lived for long. For many years of my life.
Am I a migrant here, yes. It is my country. But the culture, the people, etiquette everything is different. It is still very easy to talk to a person with the same mother tongue. It is still very easy to understand and relish the food that I ate as a kid. There are times when the mind is not at all ready to accept the fact that the food is so very different. So not familiar.
But beyond all this, I think I am missing the marketplaces too ? What ? can this be ?
Yes.
I just went to a store in Delhi, called as the Sitaram's stationary store. There is a stationary mall in pune called as 'Venus'. The very fact that Sitaram was supposed to be the biggest stationary store, made me anticipate  the same experience as Venus! I would still want to travel to Pune, and not miss going to Venus!
I went there. I literally stood there for a moment. It was way different, but it still felt similar, with floors filled with stationary.
I felt so good, so familiar. So at home. so satiated. It was not about the shopping, it was more about the experience of stationary displayed in a similar fashion out there.
It just came in my mind, though we want to wander, want to experience new things, we still want to come back to that one anchor point. We still yearn the company we were familiar with. Forever. 

The goodness of new & good associations

Well, this is the first time that I saw fog actually at a visibility of 10 metres from me. Was it 5 metres ?  Maybe.
It is supposed to be the most dangerous thing. My god! anything can happen.
My car did not go ahead of 5 speed. Have I ever done that before?
Oh, it is supposed to be scary!!!

But guess what.
I was so happy!!. I felt like I was driving on Sinhagad. We had been there as a family when I was in 8-9th. it was awesome walking through the clouds - actual clouds - foggy mornings in Mahabaleshwar! All this seen in the very temperate environment. Nothing serious, nothing dangerous!
I felt like I wanted to get out of the car and walk through the Fog - smog - whatever - cloud like thingie on a national highway !!!

I sang to the tunes of wonderful songs until I saw a few students walking through the fog, and I offered them a lift.

Seriously I only felt happy driving through the fog, dangerous fog today.
For obvious reasons, everyone else in the office was troubled due to the fog.

So, actually, the same dangerous situation turned into an amusing one for me due to the great associations I had with the fog earlier!
And of course the joy of new!

Sometimes it comes to my mind, maybe can we turn every situation into one like this?
Do we really have a positive association with every situation that we face? Can we find one?

Suicide! well anything but stupid

I was talking a friend of mine who was talking of her friend's wife who tried committing a suicide. She referred to her as what a stupid woman, cant she understand that her suicidal plans cause the family so much of trouble!

Yes it was mindless of her to say that. She is a dear friend, but I told her on face that it was extremely mindless to say that.

Depression hitting its peak is equivalent to a suicidal tendency. It can hit anyone.

A person is cornered to a level that he or she cannot recover makes that person suicidal.

There have been many different posts, whatever announcements that you can talk to me come to me for a cup of coffee, tea whatever if you are feeling depressed.
But does that help ?

I do not know.

Depression can hit anyone anytime. Be it someone like to Dipika Padukone to anyone at all.

Reasons ?
1. I read it could be due to indigestion :P
2. Most famous ones are post-partum depression - i.e. depression after child birth to the mother.
3. Love or heart breaks
4. Losing loved ones. be it due to a divorce, heart break or death.
5. Losing sight of the path ahead, be it in career, marriage anywhere.
6. Monotonous life
7. Basically no place left to go to
8. Handling burden that you actually cannot. could be work, home, relationship. Anything.

All this seems like a very natural thing to happen for people who have never faced depression.

Genetically few people are more prone to depression due to their chemical structures.
https://themindsjournal.com/depression-isnt-a-choice/
Just adding in a link speaking of the same.

NO ONE, absolutely wants to be depressed happily.

It happens.

All we can do is to help. Understand ?
That will come in only if you are genuinely concerned about that person. Please for God's sake and your own sake don't just pass judgements or give some mad advices if you are not concerned.

I have seen people taking advantage of the situation very manipulatively.
Not sure if I want to judge them or give a few examples here. No one is perfect.  I have seen people moving ahead of the people under depression. Or breaking ties with that person.

It is very difficult for a person under depression to react sanely to things. (I am not saying they go insane). It just becomes difficult for them to be themselves leave alone fulfilling expectations.
Please check if you are expecting too much out of them.

Are there some symptoms ?

Depression needs to be looked into at the earliest. It is likewise difficult to understand for the individual as well, if depressed.

1. Change in behaviour (someone extremely talkative suddenly )
2. disinterest in making new friends
3. disinterest in doing everyday chores
4. Not surfacing anywhere.

I am not a psychologist but I know that the person starts behaving differently for sure.

Can we help the people who are depressed to at least not move to the suicidal cliff ?
I am sure if there is a perfect solution. But we all can try. Maybe.

In pursuit of Happiness (?) - keep working

No I do not understand. Is it happiness that we need to pursue or just be and let happiness come over like a butterfly and sit with us for some time ?

I am currently working with a visionary - Sudhir Sharma.
He just made an observation about me - that I am a methodical designer. That i can create numbers around Design.
He asked me what is my aim in life.

And I have one aim for sure.
To live for 35 more years. I am going to extend those many years for sure.

And he was startled. He then called everyone in the office and asked everyone - what is their aim
EVERYONE answered - they want to be happy.

Well, I just realised my transformation from a free bird to counting value of each line that a designer draws. To making money or better - trying to make money out of any design work.

With an ultimate aim of helping the designers to figure out their worth in the market.
Well anyone can come for a consultation as to how to earn through their art.

Through this have I lost the essence of giving in freely to the temptation of color smell ? To holding the brush? to being lost in my world ?

Did I miss being happy / yearning for being happy ?
Or did I just give up on that wish to forget it ?
Or was I simply content on what I got ?

Sometimes it just comes to my mind, that maybe I just gave up on the possibility of being happy.
I feel its a butterfly. Will come in, settle for sometime and fly away. And i am thankful that this happiness does come to me on its own!!

Why wait for it ? Keep working!?

Someone hitting you hard! on face!

I met and dealt with people who manipulated me for a lot of time now.

There are these people who are not well educated, but are very good at manipulating people. I have seen such examples very closely. they are almost taught from the childhood how to call people bad, make them feel bad and not live properly and not let live properly.

And oh yes, how could I forget. They are also very good at spreading lies about good souls. Yes I am calling myself a good soul here. I know I am one.

There are people who want to establish themselves in power by making people look less.
Gosh what I am talking about! There are so many people who can do this! look at the governments now.

Am I discussing politics here ?

No, I don't want to.

But these kinda people who want to show that they are sweet, loving caring, oh my God, and dunno what, are the deadly snakes who ought to bite you anytime with their venom. Forever. And make you feel less! in everything that you do. And mind you they are everywhere. Not only at home in the form of you know who. They are present everywhere. In office, on bus stops, on stations, maybe a little in ourselves now. Because we stayed with them. It is difficult to go back to the purest form we were in. Our soul were in.

That sadistic behaviour of feeling good in injuring someone else is sought by so many!!! What is funny is they haven't injured you physically so cannot even report. 

Mind you the venom has no antidote. It is so difficult to remove the guilt or whatever they do instil in you.

So what is the answer ?

I seriously do no know. I am trying to find out. I want to be free. Away.

Sometimes it comes to my mind that yes there are no solutions to problems at times. So what do we do of those problems ? Let them stay with us ? forever ?

This blog is going to be not like all the other ones. 
Because by now, I have been injured so many times that i don't have the courage to gather myself up and speak directly. What I will keep doing is to fight, fight for a long time. 

We are proud of you!

I was returning from a business meeting.
Wit my boss and a colleague.
This colleague of mine has done the same schooling as me, junior by batch, and then joined this office. He has been working here for a long time.
We stopped at a place on our way back home. Since this colleague's relatives were going to meet him.

They absolutely admired my boss, his work and our company. And spoke so many good things about the same.
And then while speaking of all this, they explicitly mentioned that they were proud of him to be excelling to come up to this position.

I kept thinking. Was it easier to say that a guy has achieved. Was it about the humbleness of the people around, that they felt he was really good and they were proud of him.

Has anyone ever said this about me! Did anyone really feel the need to ?
I have done a lot of work, been through mad circumstances, helped n number of people.
Have I really encountered a situation when someone, my close kin has said that I am proud of all that you do and manage?

Is it because I am woman and its no big deal if I did it. Or is it that people around me are so full of themselves that they do not realise that they could say such a thing across.

It just comes to my mind, may be I can say that to people around me. Which I off course do. For sure, and will keep doing.

Do you need help!

This is a very small story ! 

I have joined a cosy small design setup. One day, I was working and concentrating on my work completely. 

We are a mix of people of mix age groups. 

Suddenly a senior age group person came and asked me, do you want some help ? 

I was startled. 

Never have I been asked this before. I was stunned for a moment! 

We all are given a task we need to complete and we strive to complete it. Rarely have we also done this, to ask anyone n the office whether anyone needs help in what ever he/ she is doing. 

But this senior person (Pradeepji) - he is almost the age of my uncle, asked, maybe because of the generation that he came from. He did not understand the complex UX process that I was handling in the office. I told him so politely. To which he still did not budge and told me the pointers wherein he could help. He was even eager to learn so that he could help. 

That was a first in my complete professional career.  

We (our) generation have forgotten (or not taught ) how to help in office. Or maybe we are more than bogged down by what we have in the plate and rarely have the luxury of time in office. Then we have the ever pressing need of balancing work - life. What if it isn't balanced ? 

It came to my mind, is it possible, I can do this, - to ask if I can help to anyone ?