To lie or not to lie is the question..

Honesty is the best policy. you have to produce hundreds of lies to keep one.....
Yeah that's what we learn in the school. There are boards that are hung up on the walls of the room where in we lie to teacher when we don't do are homework. We lie when were talking and got caught. This phenomenon of getting caught then lying or is it about lying for not getting caught..
i don't say i've never lied in my life. I have as a kid.. It was then that my mom always (sometimes, in fact many times i was thrashed up) tried to tell me not to lie..
This constant telling in by everyone around and so much of lying in the childhood, I think has made me a better adult. Today i strictly hate lies and can tell if the person in front of me is lying or not.
And to my surprise I find the people that lie, get away with the situation.They then fake smiles/ laughter(that surprises me a lot.. as nothing hilarious is actually going on).People try to use their charm...Their job at that moment is done.I do not know what long term disadvantages they face..If I have to lie, I definitely feel bad. Do they? or is it just normal for them? I do not know.

But I feel i am at peace of my own mind by speaking the truth. yeah maybe this is the answer. I should be truthful for the peace of my own mind. It is not about getting caught/ not. It is more about what remains in the mind, debris or bloom.

Human communication

These days i see this creation of human visual communication happening on a very human level..
This is intriguing right?.. I am in Shanghai and do not understand Chinese at all..the very first day, i was afraid about how would i communicate.. but then when i went in and met people, i felt there were means of communication even more strong than normal language..i had known about it for a long time..but experience makes one more equipped to face life..
I came home walking alone asking people for directions how i would do in India. Just using gestures with hands and eyes. But i don’t know how people understood me and I understood them. I got the very right direction and i reached home.
Even better was when i actually was talking to the baby sitting next to me in the train. We both had a long conversation. We both went on with gestures and touch... the baby understood better. The baby’s mind was not conditioned with thoughts and language sounds.. there is this anonymous communication within humans and humans with other living beings.
Sometimes, it comes to my mind what would happen if this conditioning was done or maybe done in the right way? (again who will say what is right).. would there had been a different world . I don’t know why but I am liking this anonymity within the known realms of the world.

Flies on our(?) food

there goes a fly..
runs around the food.
gets in his own food
and disturbs ours..
we think the fly made our food bad.. because we think the fly is bad.
why?
because it sits on anything and come..
what if the flies form a colony of only being staying clean and living around in the house .. what if they informed us that they are gonna be clean?
Will we allow them to stay?

It just came to mind.. we decide everything on the trust that a person builds, or in this case the fly would build.. but then will our minds which are so conditioned accept the fact there is a clean soceity of flies which can survive on very little chunks of food in our house..they survive and we do??
Whose is the food by the way? ours? who makes the food? the basic grain?
nature .. then is it the fundamental right of the fly to eat even witout asking us?

Rohini and Ketki

ketki came to support me whenever i was in trouble irrespective of her appointments. there was a time when she even shared a room with me just to support me. she has been a friend from 6 years now. she was with me on the day my mom died. it gave me so much of a morale boosting.
rohini is a new friend. but i can see the amount of care she imparts. i am feeling so supported and good because of her. she keeps laughing and smiling. she wants make me smile and make me more comfortable in life.
what is it that make them help me? i think its the purity of their heart. they endorse the importance of having friends. they are so very important.
what is it that makes friends. there are times when you simply click with a person and stay together. you simply feel so much trust in that person.
sometimes it just comes to mind, where does this divinty of friendship come from. from wherever but it truly beautiful. people comfort each other and express love. what on the earth is true love? i think this is what it it. being for another person so selflessly.
thanks a ton rohini and thanks a tonn ketki.(i know they will not even like me saying thanks)but i definitely i owe them so much.thanks to God too for giving me such good friends on this earth.

life and death

I just read this in the Times of India

Death is separation of the soul from the physical body. Death becomes the starting point of a new and better life. Death merely opens the door to
Soul-body separationa higher form of life; it is only the gateway to a fuller life.

Birth and death are jugglery of maya. He who is born begins to die. He who dies begins to live. Life is death and death is life. Birth and death are merely doors of entry and exit on the stage of this world. In reality no one comes, no one goes. Brahmn or the eternal alone exists.

Just as you move from one house to another house, the soul passes from one body to another to gain experience. Just as a man casting off worn-out garments takes new ones, so the dweller in this body, casting off worn-out bodies, enters into others that are new.

and I also read, you become fearless when you lose what you feared the most. is it that your responsibility towards the most posessed reduces?
I think my mom's death has made me understand (i knew it but knowing by reading somewhere and understanding is different)that the body we live in is so immaterial. It is just there. whats more important is the soul. I do not know whether it stays but the deeds do.

was just reading a lot on all this since my mom's death. felt like sharing on the web.

so sudden..but so much real

my dad called up to come over immediately. i went and i saw her going. leaving this world, me. i saw that every little movement that she made when she was on the ventilator. every movement and i prayed please back to normal and come to life. after seeing this for continous three days i saw the pulse rate dropping and i knew this was it. i did not want to see her die.no. i didnt. it was too early for her to die.
but this is also true tht how can i decide or who am i to decide whether it was too early?
i saw my mom dying and i could do nothing. the doctors tried. they could do nothing.
it was a clear heart failure on the 18th september 10:34.she could now rest in peace.i know she's in peace than she ever was on this earth.and maybe in a better state?

the customs of the 12th, 10th day are just to pacify the people around. the tradition of asthi visarjan just made me realise what we are. after we die. we are just those pieces of bones left. where's that life?
where does it come from. and where does it go?

i do not know and never will.

women?

I was traveling back home. The innocent little kid next to me would give a nice feeling about the way it was brought up to become so cute ever. He smiled at me as soon as he got up. This actually showed the innocence in him.

While the small little girl woke up with a cry which actually woke everyone in the cabin. The reason? The little girl along with her mother was sleeping on the floor of the train without anything to cover as well as nothing below. She slept on her mom’s saree. She would definitely be shivering with cold all night. She was a small kid of around 2 years same was the boy-child. This is something that I have observed twice now. The veiled women (from Rajasthan) I do not know about their caste and don’t want to specific in mentioning it. The whole family travels to whatever place and the women are literally seen as the assistants/ even worse servants of their husbands. The woman serve food almost the moment the men wake up or order something. They take good care of their kids.

The men do not book a berth for the women. The women sleep on the floor in between the two berths. It is really disheartening to see this. This time I at least saw the veiled woman getting a place to sit on the seat. Last time I encountered an incident which was even worse. The woman slept on the floor. And after getting up she actually sat facing the wall next to the window and sat still. Without a word to utter.

The man of the family eyed me very strangely since I was the only woman who seemed out of place there.I was not wearing a saree and had not veiled my face. I was travelling alone, bold enough to ask him to make place for my seat which was reserved. He was so very reluctant and talked very rudely. Being polite primarily I answered him with the same rudeness as he did. I had to. He should know.. He is not at all the supremo. He should have some respect for women.

It sometimes really comes to mind, I felt so bad about the incident. I felt the women should be equally placed. But did the women feel so. Did they even feel the need to heard? Did they even know that there was a world beyond the mundane things that they did. Or did they even know what they lived as. Reproductive machines to render their kids. That’s all? They must be feeling great achievements in whatever they were doing. I would not be the right person to comment. Because I do not know how it feels to be completely suppressed. As a woman, I have faced the brunt of suppression. But maybe education has empowered me the way to see ahead. But are these woman happy bearing the brunt? (I do not know).