After the Queen Bee, I think this post is extremely relevant with respect to labor division in any house.
Currently, I have a friend staying over. She is quiet younger to me and now is a mom to 2 kids. She has a little baby. a little sweet 4 month old. And a cute 3 year old. She has a help who is around her and helping her through the process. But she herself also keeps doing a lot to take care of the kids.
Before this baby, her mom helped her with the first one along with a help. She has a few people around to help her. But she has been on her toes too. Its not that she has taken advantage or has shun work because she has help.
Every single moment with her and her little ones are making me think of my time when I had my little one popping into the world.
NO, i did not have a female to help me. My mom was no more and nor was my ex-husband's mom. I was trying to find out what to do. What to do with the little bundle of joy. That's what the world calls a baby. The baby is so innocent. But it was a never ending task for me.
But I truly do not know the source of energy i had when i was handling the childbirth like a pro. Yes, I was referring to the amount of books that i may need to be working through. I did not know how to hold a child. Was it a part of my 'adulting' ? I absolutely missed doing that as a child. I did not hold a little one so little. Every thing was new. But that did not deter my primary instincts of giving my child the best. Nor is it today.
There was something divine that helped me get through this process. That helped me to take care of everything, the baby, the cooking, the cleaning of the house and the job i was doing. Yes, I did not have the luxury of help.
Yes, I always felt that having the help was a luxury. Until I saw this little friend of mine managing with the kids. Now I realize it was actually a need. I needed help when that little one was struggling to be a part of this world. I was being a part of the this world as a mother. I did not really have more help than my sister coming sometimes and a friend dropping in. My ex-husband had restricted my people - including my sister to come to his house. Oh, but did he help ? no, he didn't. He just played with the little one sometimes. Never picked her up. We never went out for anything together (barring only a couple of times) leave alone entertainment. I had the money to get help. But was not allowed to do so. I complied. 1. to save the institution or rather keep it going. 2. I had those age old concepts of being the martyr being the woman. And that continuous need to prove, that the love marriage was worthy enough.
All i did was work. Is this blow of trumpeting of how much did I do ? no. It is about letting the world know that a new mom, whether a first timer or not, still needs help. She is coping with so many things in life. She is coping with the changes in her body. She is coping with the continuous crying or demands of the little one. yes, that little smile, that little touch, everything is heavenly, but the physical and attention needs of the little one are also immense. The mother needs support. And every single mother who is a mom is heroic herself. And a mom who does all by herself is backed by some divine power for sure!
All I knew then and I know now is I am her sole caretaker and will be so, until she can take care of herself.
Currently, I have a friend staying over. She is quiet younger to me and now is a mom to 2 kids. She has a little baby. a little sweet 4 month old. And a cute 3 year old. She has a help who is around her and helping her through the process. But she herself also keeps doing a lot to take care of the kids.
Before this baby, her mom helped her with the first one along with a help. She has a few people around to help her. But she has been on her toes too. Its not that she has taken advantage or has shun work because she has help.
Every single moment with her and her little ones are making me think of my time when I had my little one popping into the world.
NO, i did not have a female to help me. My mom was no more and nor was my ex-husband's mom. I was trying to find out what to do. What to do with the little bundle of joy. That's what the world calls a baby. The baby is so innocent. But it was a never ending task for me.
But I truly do not know the source of energy i had when i was handling the childbirth like a pro. Yes, I was referring to the amount of books that i may need to be working through. I did not know how to hold a child. Was it a part of my 'adulting' ? I absolutely missed doing that as a child. I did not hold a little one so little. Every thing was new. But that did not deter my primary instincts of giving my child the best. Nor is it today.
There was something divine that helped me get through this process. That helped me to take care of everything, the baby, the cooking, the cleaning of the house and the job i was doing. Yes, I did not have the luxury of help.
Yes, I always felt that having the help was a luxury. Until I saw this little friend of mine managing with the kids. Now I realize it was actually a need. I needed help when that little one was struggling to be a part of this world. I was being a part of the this world as a mother. I did not really have more help than my sister coming sometimes and a friend dropping in. My ex-husband had restricted my people - including my sister to come to his house. Oh, but did he help ? no, he didn't. He just played with the little one sometimes. Never picked her up. We never went out for anything together (barring only a couple of times) leave alone entertainment. I had the money to get help. But was not allowed to do so. I complied. 1. to save the institution or rather keep it going. 2. I had those age old concepts of being the martyr being the woman. And that continuous need to prove, that the love marriage was worthy enough.
All i did was work. Is this blow of trumpeting of how much did I do ? no. It is about letting the world know that a new mom, whether a first timer or not, still needs help. She is coping with so many things in life. She is coping with the changes in her body. She is coping with the continuous crying or demands of the little one. yes, that little smile, that little touch, everything is heavenly, but the physical and attention needs of the little one are also immense. The mother needs support. And every single mother who is a mom is heroic herself. And a mom who does all by herself is backed by some divine power for sure!
All I knew then and I know now is I am her sole caretaker and will be so, until she can take care of herself.
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