Inexplicable

 There are so many things these days that are not explainable to myself. 

There is so much loneliness. So much of life left out. It feels like there s no one. 

There is this guilt. I never thought I got enough of my parents so I thought my husband should be my parent and understand and support me. Now do I see the life partner thing in my daughter ? I feel so guilty for that. I have been Taj with her. was it needed ? i wanted to go. But now she has her own life, her own living, 

She is going to go away from me one fine day. She should. She should get the best person to be with. Who takes care of her, is there for her and never leaves her for any reason. 

I feel alone. Untouched. unsupported. 

She fights and she fights a lot. and then if I express, she fees bad and says who else will she fight with. Who else will I fight with ?

i dont feel like a lot of things 

i dont feel like cooking 

i dont feel like going anywhere 

meeting new people. everyone is deceptive. 

I dont feel like going home 

everything just feels so not good. not very positive. 

i cfry everyday when i get up. put myself to sleep 

I dont know why people want the external body when the inner soul actually matters ? 

do they even deserve me then 

Can i trust anyone with my daughter ?

How will i live a life if all i am doing is her. will I have a life ? or is this the end of the world ?