Lunch - a very very human lunch

 I must say, I got this privilege of being at Lunch with the complete team of the IT folks. All thanks to one non-judgemental female in the group. Very kind. Shivani. 

That whole table was giggling, laughing, there were people who ate quietly. While there were who continuously tagged each other for fun. All jokes seemed to be allowed. There were people who carried eggs from their homeplace in trains, buses and cars some 400 500 km away. young crowd. that again. forgiving. not flexing beyond anything. 

I remember I had these lunches some 10 years ago. yes. that long ago. where i could be my own self, eat, mostly laugh. Live through. Not asking much. having fun once through the day. this little group of ours knew who liked what. everyone cared for each other. we were bound by the happiness of just being together. for a long time. We are still in touch. all of us. we may not meet everyday but alls well. we see each other living lives good enough on the social media. again, no flexing. as much happiness that we share. They were also my people when my lil one was growing up. I could call anyone. They could call me. 

Then I went far away. 

I understand I went far away. the group stayed. I moved out. They literally gave me a send off / a happy good bye party more than a few times. They met me whenever i came back. I met at least a few people in front of the same company whenever i returned. 

While the lunch tht i had when I was away was a vile time always. People talking over each other. Wanting me to shut down or finding some way to bully me. Oh it was bad. at times i was allowed to sit in a different group just to realise that my presence was advantage of. 

I realised I stopped talking during lunch. At times singing within myself, moving through my own thoughts. talking only if asked. Being present. taking in as much information tht was required. sieving through everything else. All the crap. uff. 

It is in fact lonely at the top. Always. 

This. of not telling everyone, where do i sit in the sense of position is refreshing. you are allowed to enter the groups. of ages, of positions. or maybe its a geography thing as well.  

Just was worth a mention. absolutely. 

Maybe clearing my writing block too.