the kiddish friendship. :)

yes i think it is important i write this.
There are times when friend-ships are hurt. I have this great friend,. Who I felt understood me very well without saying anything, so did i understood her too. So what if we did not know the knitty gritty details of what happened in each others lives, We were truly in love before (she is a girl friend) .... And then everything went wrong. OH but i need to mention that the whole misunderstanding started because of un-friending activities, which none of us did, on the Facebook.. It just happened and none of us knew how.
She spoke something and and I took it wrongly, and I did something and she took it wrongly. And all that lead to a huge mess.
Oh God, that's bad. We talk about friendships being made, nurtured and kept all way. And I agree she was such a friend, A special for me. Then why on earth did all the misunderstanding happen.
But we sat, spoke to each other telling each other to believe, trust in one another. and got up with no outcome. We were leaving when I suddenly realized, Oh my God, what is happening. we were so dear friends. I remembered and reminded her of the same and Thank God, we hugged and made it up.. We went back to the place we were fighting in and spoke well to each other. Thank you God for giving in the forgive button easily to friends. I am happy that things got solved.
Through all this, it just came to mind, had we been kids, we this would have ended earlier. But since we grew up, one thing led to another and the whole mess stood up.. And to add to the paradox, we then appeared kiddish to the world. When in reality, had we been kids, we would have made up much earlier..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

the more i think, write, make friends, the more the subject becomes variant, beautiful and nice. 

It was a long time I had made a new friend, specially after the baby. When suddenly this girl, Arpita entered my life. She is a girl full of blossoming smiles, caring for everyone, all good..That must also be a reason why she has so many friends. I should say, she became friends with me and I found comfort being with her. She was like the new friend I needed since ages almost.She had this magnetic charm to attract people around her. 

She was with me for around 3 months and then flew to London to her husband. 

I know there is Facebook these days, you don't actually loose touch with people. I felt sad that she was leaving. I was going to miss the everyday good morning smile, the loving hug. But she called today. I felt so happy, so ecstatic. Wow. 

It sometimes comes to my mind, these things matter so much in this world, where in we still are connected. The personal touch, the personal hello, of asking 'kaisi hai re?' - how are you doing with love and care is so very important.

Welcome back, Salil

wow!!what a day today. The morning was nice and happy for no reason. I simply felt a gush of happiness like i use to feel when in NID, when i used to be out ready to meet all my friends and be smiling and happy.
I went in for an afternoon stroll, just by chance (I normally don't due to time cram up) and a familiar voice called from behind. 'Sanmitra' oh my it was Salil. He is my friend and dear support from NID. I reacted like a little kid. I was soooo happy to see him.
I felt like I met a long lost brother or something like that.
I was so happy to see you!. I still cant stop smiling.
And this just came to my mind. Yes, If I am happy all by myself from the moment 1 of the day, I am gonna be happy forever. I was happy since morning and I attracted more happiness. It is something like the situation in 'The Secret'. It is about what you keep wishing, you keep getting it. If you wish for bad, then you get bad and if you wish good, you receive good.
Wow!, this is a great feeling. Thank you God!

the provider's pain

I was trying to take my daughter to the creche today. She cried, and she did not want to come with me. She cried baba - baba, (father) she is a one and half year old. She still knew when i am dressed to go to office. She did not want to come to me. I felt so bad, so painful. She wanted to stay and bid me a good bye. Is this just the beginning of her growing up, or is it that she does not need me now. Or rather will not need me when grown up?
But why this need thing? why should i think that she should need me? or rather be with me forever? how much ever I love her. How much ever I do for her?
yes I remembered and tried to mug up these lines while coming to office, crying somberly below my sunglasses.
 
Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Act because you need to act – Paulo coehlo

but this really hard to digest. I am so much in love with my daughter, I somehow cannot take the no from her about her not want to love me back. Or only coming to me when needed. then it sometimes comes to my mind, am I just the provider? is there a provider for me for a change?

Celebrating Myself

Aaahhh!!! celebrating myself, should I dare to say, I want to do it one day!
I felt like doing that when I ranked topper in the SSC - the tenth standard, but could not really.
I felt like celebrating myself whenever i got an admission in an institution on my merits and not on a special requisition by some XYZ. I saw so many of my friends doing that.
I felt like celebrating myself when I got married to my love in spite of all the odds that exist when parents disagree to your alliance.
I felt like celebrating myself when I got through the entrance exam for National Institute of Design where I was one of the fifteen people to be selected from all the entrants.
I felt like celebrating myself, when out of those fifteen, I was the first one to get an internship/ project for completion of Post graduation, but couldn't as all others were friends.
I felt like celebrating when I had my first trip abroad to the internship on my own and not due to my husband like the other girls. 
I felt like celebrating myself when I got pregnant - got the biggest prize of humanity, a moving human in me.
I felt like celebrating when I delivered my child, a little girl, I felt like my mom came back to me. And today I feel like celebrating for my own spirit of endurance towards to success, with the unending urge to catch on the horizon with the ground reality of taking care of my little one, almost single handedly, loving her and getting so muccchhhh love in return.
I felt like celebrating when I stood in the photo for graduating from NID with my little one in my hands. My little one was already graduating with me.  

I know by now there might be people who feel this is being boastful of your own achievements, but this is truth. I have rarely celebrated being me. The sparkle in my mom's eyes whenever I achieved would be a great achievement-a celebration for me.

Today she is no longer around. The woman who taught me being me, being independent, striving to achieve.
I don't see the celebration anymore.I want to celebrate being a woman, as a tribute to her, to her who made me, who I am.

here's the link where I have posted this blog.
http://www.womensweb.in/articles/celebrating-myself/

what is a stranger?

Today on the valentine’s day, a friend of mine send me a message, “Arranged Marriage is such a funny concept, all your life you are taught not to talk to strangers and suddenly you are asked to sleep with one!” Funny as this might seem. I think it applies to a love marriage too. We fall in love, and claim to know the partner, but has anyone experienced of saying “ you were so different before marriage, you changed the moment we got married” I can bet everyone has. It is very difficult to say that the person in front of you is not a stranger/ you know everything about him/ her. You might know what happened in the life of your closest person’s life, say your sibling, but I don’t think that makes you know everything about the person.
I think this is because a person evolves as time passes. I just read about this in an article. Wherein a 50 something couple were arguing about whether or not to on the air-conditioner to the room for the holiday and quarreled. This was something / a preference – a different preference that they did not know about each other, as they developed two different tolerance levels simultaneously.
But sometimes it comes to my mind, that we are still going to continue living with strangers for our lives, maybe for the excitement it will create – good or bad depends on the individual choices.

women and babies and men

'European Member of Parliament Takes Her Baby To Work......
Licia Ronzulli, an MEP from Italy, took her seven-week old daughter Victoria to work at the European parliament this week at Strasbourg. And this wasn’t even Take-Your-Child-to-Work day. She kept her baby carefully cradled against her in a sling and occasionally leant to kiss her on the forehead. Photographs of Ronzulli cradling her daughter in a sling as she voted on proposals to improve women's employment rights were broadcast around the world and published in newspapers from the US to Vietnam.'
just saw this on Facebook and this is what came to my mind.
I think it is more of the natural desire of a woman to have a baby. Why should a working woman keep away from having a baby.
I don't think she should be taking a break from work, unless her health does not permit her or if she does not desire to. In fact there should be a design proposed which should help her work hassle -free with the baby if she wishes to work.
Why should a woman take break in her career when she has a baby? I think that is bad for her career. yes I understand, the baby comes first- it should, but does this occur to men? aren't the babies their responsibility too?Has anyone noticed a picture of a man with his baby working as well?
Could a man be able to do this? I dont think so. I think fundamentally, men have a lesser ability of multitasking which woman have in abundance. Yes, naturally it must have been decided that the man goes gets food, while the woman takes care of the baby. But since we are humans, we love to evolve. And there we are with women who take of their babies and household too. Yes it is extremely difficult to walk this rope. But there is no choice in the world of men. I worked in the same way carrying my baby around for work, traveling here and there. Has anyone seen a man doing this (when he has a wife, i am not talking of widowers or divorcee men who don't have a choice than to do this.
I think day by day the challenges for women are increasing far more rapidly than to that for men. hence there should be more designs, thoughts and policies for working women with little cute ones with them.