Yes, we did check up on the expectations from people.
Most of the times they are a build up in our mind, due to what everyone else acts, or has expectations, rather worse enough social media where there is a direct comparison.
We expect from our parents, siblings, people whom we love.
Every new relationship comes with an expectation. No. not the expectation that the person has from you. (oh, that too). but it comes with your expectation from that person. That primary surge of expectation in new friendships (again according to the worldly standards). That continuous supply of expectations from your fiance, spouse, your parents, your relatives which somehow does not frizzle out as much. one or two pieces always lie down there in the corner of your heart.
I dont know whether it is age catching up or my lovely encounter with North India wherein there is absolutely no space for new friendships.
It is just about a give and take. You do this for me. I will do this for you. I will give you this gossip and you give me this gossip or information, whatever. There is no selfless giving here. No there isnt. Looking at the amount of gossip seen as an entertainment does make you realize that whatever you may be talking from your heart may be seen as spilling beans and used as the next script of gossip and judgement. (Unless you want to entertain people).
North India has taught me to survive with minimal contact with people. Having no new relationships. Very few people have become great contacts, friend scale yes, a little bit. But do I have any expectations from them ? No. I don't. Here people teach you that. They teach you frizzling out on relationships pretty quickly. Ghosting. I know what that means.(in friendships). People simply dont respond, if they don't want to keep a simple promise of calling you or seeing you or visiting you. You see the blue tick going and a call coming in when they need something.
I still remember a conversation with a North Indian friend of mine (in Pune), as to how should i disinterest someone. anyone. That. I have learned. Because people here frizzle out. People here know how to disinterest me. (another friend had called me chep, because I happened to stick to people irrespective of their behavior towards me.) I thought I was being good by being forgiving. enough.
Guess what? All that makes one independent.
Financial independence is something.
but emotional independence? Nothing matches it.
This feeling is good. Of being devoid of expectations. I think I have achieved it. Post ten years of writing this blog which kinda circled around that feeling.
I am just lucky that I dont expect from my kid from the beginning.
Getting involved in new people, not trying to establish a relationship, that is something I need to work on. Maybe just enjoy the rainbow while it lasts. no attachment. no expectation. but lot of dishonesty. (yahan sab aisehi chalta hai). Thats how life is.
It just came to my mind.
There are some dreams you are not supposed to see.
Just makes life easier. High time I do that.
