To dear (whoever is thinking of a suicide).
Today, Sheetal Amte's demise brought in all those difficult times that I chose to stay away from uncomfortable confrontations towards my values in life. Not everyone can do so. Today's world does not allow people to live with values. I look down on myself of ignoring & letting some uncomfortable situations just passing by and me not reacting to them. Though I did convey that I will not be doing anything beyond and above the values I am brought up in.
I am a miniscule human. Sheetal wasn't. She had the legacy of Social work which she carried with poise and very simply enough. I was connected to her via phone, social media & was going to conduct an instagram live with her. She was so much interested in Design & art. She said she did not have enough money to go to NID. She thought only the super wealthy go there. Before I even thought of correcting her there, she quipped that she did medicine to help people better. I respected her for that and we trudged along the conversation on her acts of preservation and uplift-ment of people. She was so approachable, so close via the conversations, that it felt we were together since long. We shared the purpose. She used to be so excited about Design, Art. Whenever I called, she was full of life. She narrated that we created so many masks, I am taking to the centre. Delivering, packing them myself. With zero ego and attitude.
We Maharashtrians, (whoa, no, I am not getting into the Marathi, non-Marathi debacle here) are brought up with some values in the order of - 1. Education, 2. Values. 3. Giving to the society, 4. Earning, 5. then Profit/ surplus. I identify myself as a Maharashtrian since I lived there for 95 percent of life as of yet. We happen to constitute a major part of the middle class due to that. There may be a lot more people from other states who may have a similar way of thinking. Though I am not sure. This is the structure I inherited from my parents, my grandparents who believe in communism, liberal thinking and giving to the society. To first give then eat the remaining. There is this famous story of 1 sesame seed been divided in seven parts so that each one gets equal. And I am still talking of my own family here who have given to the society but surely not as much.
People may have different values than this and my blog is not a judgement. But there are so many things that I am intolerant to. A very simple one is being called as selfish. Because of the above teachings. There are so many values that I have lived for a very long time only because I was brought up likewise and would still be hurt or offended if commented otherwise. It is difficult to develop a thicker skin. I cry. As of today. I am sensitive. Due to the amount of meanness around. Lack of values around. Also seeing the rewards given to the valueless and terming the excellent liars as smarts. People simply make a statement that you should develop a thick skin. Is it ? Is it that simple ? Sensitive people are hurt.
I may not choose or have the courage to end my life in the quest of survival & that my little one depends on me, but when such an incident of friend committing suicide occurs, a little part of me dies everyday. Every single day. I truly want to help as much as I can. I know that corner that one may get into wherein ending life could only seem as the best solution. We should all try to get out of it alive. & saying this is way easier. Always. We should all try and check if someone is in that corner, at all. Pull that person out. As much.
I did not think I might have to write or even say something about death for anyone my age'ish soon. Ending one's life can never be the solution.
Dear world, please be kind to people around. Please be kind to people who want to work for people without asking for anything in return.
You may not be so. But such people exist. Always. DONT DOUBT their intentions.
Love you Sheetal. You have touched so many lives in so less years. Your work will live forever.
