Wednesday, November 30, 2011

fairy tales..

i read a lot of story books as a kid. a lot of fairy tales, where everything has a great happy ending. yes there were a lot of hardships, a lot of trouble around, but then there was a happy ending to it.
because there was not story beyond it.I still remember a lot of fairy tales around. A lot of moral stories too.. that honesty is the best policy, friend in need..etc etc..I wonder that if any of these really work.
It took me almost thirty years to understand, that here in world, nothing works better than diplomatics and politics and lies. Leave alone the fact that I still dont know how to handle it, as one needs to be good at it to handle. A very close friend of mine, says,diplomacy is not a bad thing, its a good thing to do.' But that applies only if you are best at it.
oh there are so many things that I still don't possess (qualities) to be fit in this world. I wonder if I am not fit to survive here. (Darwins's theory). I still try to find out my fairy tale world in this life. I still want to believe in Humanism, love, everything being beautiful, good..
And there are times when this also works, but very subtle. Like an old friend contacting u when u have almost dropped out any hopes of goodness. But today everythings so limited. I think - the time is so limited. Where is the time to dream like the fairy tale? But its so funny, I still am looking forward to a fairy tale, while writing this. I am still wanting to find the happy story within.
the pursuit of happines. hmmpf..

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What is your caste?

I never found this question untill i got married to a guy who was not of my caste. Until, his family members did not trouble me over and over again making me remind of my caste and that i dont belong to them. I felt this got over on the marriage base.
My parents always taught me/ rather told me that I belonged to the caste of humanity.As a little kid, i believed this. I was never introduced to this caste system. Because they almost never allowed me to be in the 'caste consious' company.
But it is just recently that a new friend asked caste (i m sure not intentively, but casually)
it just came to my mind, why are these caste systems made, maybe to differentiate, the kind of customs or work in a group of people. the new caste system could hold in castes like, doctors, engineers, artists, etc. I seriously feel they cannot be used as the discretion towards ones ability or knowledge or status either..
But I guess it is a part of life, that we as Indians live with. Like it or not, we live with this, whether open or reserved. Why cant we choose to be of no caste whatsoever?

Friday, November 4, 2011


i left my little one at the creche today for an hour! 5 nov 2011.. so many mixed feelings. will she able to adjust, will she accept the people there. Will she cry? Will she miss me and will not adjust ? and on the other hand- will she forget me? become distant to me?
But when I gave her in the hands of the creche lady. i suddenly realized that my 14 month old had suddenly grown up. Her world had extended far beyond me. She instantly mixed up with the other little kids around..And here I was tears in my eyes while filling in the creche address book. No, I cannot explain the anxiety that had. I went back home and come much before time to pick her again.
I realized that she was learning to live the human life which is a social life. She was trying to experience, observe who and how are people behaving around her. They were different than whom she met.She is selective on whom to talk to and whom not to.
I just wonder if there is intuition happening at this age too? Do they understand intuitively whom they should talk to and whom not to? And do we as adults, loose this power. In fact do we possess it as kids?
it comes to my mind, could there be a worlds, where we talk to everyone. there would be no bad people, just good around..I know this is an impossible thinking. but 'sochne mein kya jaata hai'?