Yes, I am a single mother, divorced due to domestic violence. (see, I had to write the reason, otherwise how would you get a closure ? )
A little background. I am a short, fat, not so pretty looking person, who knows how to take a great selfie. That's the only place wherein I may look fabulous. What I do bank on, is the capacity of my brain, intellect and fearlessness always expressed in truth. I have been told i look snobbish until I smile. Yes, the famous resting bitch face & i can scare people with my eyes. And that I have huge walls built in, around me. I do. Because I want to be safe. For me and my family. Simple.
This blog was triggered by a random message - video how to floss your teeth, at 1 am today by the home owner of the place I have rented. No, I don't suspect that he did it on purpose. But the first thing I did was to change my whatsapp picture. And I remembered that I was a little nice to him the other day by helping him with RO water because he was stuck in the building due to the farmer's agitation.
or
I join this school group. I am super excited, to see all my school friends in it. I love the fact that I can interact with my school, college buddies. Then there is this - what do I do what do you do question. Yes, I tell the truth. I am single mom. there you go! Boys who never looked at me during school or college, suddenly start DM. saying I want to tell you something. Seeing a few happenings, I have been bluntly saying - Listen, I am single. But if you look forward to some time-pass stuff. I am not in for it. Let me know if you want to talk about anything else.
And hey, have you checked? Are you single ? Did you forget you have a wife and a few kids at home ? The same svelte figure you opted for ? And also, I don't want your gyan on how should I reduce my weight and your MLM. I have a suggestion for you rather - Can you get some hair on your scalp ? - you are getting bald!
or
There have been outright assumptions also. Oho, you are a single mom, I respect your courage. blah blah. and then a couple of days later. Suggestions on dos and do not's on Tinder!!! Are you effing serious ? And with a line saying that I might have needs. Who on earth are you to judge my needs ? Are you paying my rent or bills ? writing my PhD ? News flash - those are needs.
Solution - from my side - I should lie and tell everyone, my husband is merchant navy / or in the US (oh that's a pet one).
or
The women. The girl-friends. Who will suddenly call out their husbands to them if they happen to talk to me in the event I was invited by the girl friend herself. What!!! I have not intention. Please. You take care of your shit! Don't tell me the amount of times you complain about your husband and in law. How exactly are you in peace with yourself ? Solution - from my side. Bro-zone every single girl friends husband. So easy! oh, that is practice I follow and recommend.
Again, the women : I have actually seen, married - the mangalsutra and the diamond ring wearers actually checking out guys top to bottom (no kidding here) and linking me to any damn person only because I don't walk around with a guy! With all due respect to that any guy I am linked to, I don't want to be linked. It is that simple. NO. It is not funny.
So, what should I be doing ? Being deliberately rude to people so that they stay away ? Dress like a man? No, I don't want to. I like to dress feminine and love to believe that I look great in those selfies of mine. And I do want to thank people who help me actually in good words. Is that a crime ?
Should I move away from such situations ?
NO. I refuse to run away. I wrote back to the flat owner - kindly message me within 8 am to 8 pm. That's something I have communicated this to every single person around. If you do not find time within those 12 hours and it is really necessary that you communicate. Wait for the next day / apologize.
I would like to be normal friends, colleague, classmates irrespective of the gender. No, I am not interested in you or anyone. Never was. Did not find you to be special enough.
This is my dignity. My life.
Just adding in a good profile picture does not mean I am open to dating. Or anything at all. Damn, I finish my PhD thesis than writing this here. But I wanted to make a point. Please let live. Women are humans too.
And please if you are actually serious about even saying a hello with affection, you might as well think twice if you have the ability to even think of talking to a person like me who is self made, can write the above stuff, has an ambition in life, and is not afraid to speak her mind out in the room full of misogynists (not always men - being misogynist is gender agnostic).
Might as well do the 500 word write up, (in good English, check spellings and grammar). You!
