My Grand father passed away recently. At some 97- 98 years of age.
Yes, he was not at all an affectionate person.
The truth is I dont really remember him a lot anymore. Because we probably never had those great moments together. My family always had tiffs with him.
But I am sure he was a major part of my upbringing. All that was said about him was said by other people.He was a disciplinarian. He cleaned the bungalow surroundings everyday morning as a chore everyday morning. He followed eating timings strictly (that explains his age) also a very fixed diet.
But as far as I remember he was always aloof, fighting with the world unnecessarily. My grand ma filled in that position. She was compassionate. Very loving. Very Gender based role division. She used to bear all that atrocities that my grandpa did. No, I still don't think that involved domestic violence. But yes, he used to keep picking petty fights and she patiently handled them, never really expressed herself. She was a meek person easy to be dominated. She had immense tolerance levels.
She passed away in her sixties. Every relative still speaks of her being good.
I never heard of likewise for grandpa(we called him appa). But Appa was a part of me growing up. He was money minded enough to sue his own kids, but at the same time he helped them immensely too. His kids, my parents, uncles all of them always looked up to him for his saving habits and his basic conscience of keeping the property to himself till he died. Which was one of the reasons why people tolerated him.
Why am I writing all this.
No, I was not immensely grieved of his death. Cause we never shared moments.
But from that day, there has been this immense need to write, that maybe yes I do grieve his death. He was not close, was troublesome, but somewhere he has been a major part of my upbringing.
His memories - teachings - whatever he did for me kept haunting me.
It came to my mind, should a person be remembered for his or her good deeds. Or is it ok to be helping and being bad prima-facie so that people dont feel bad when u die ?
He actually taught me a lesson while leaving. Doing the rightful and not looking at it again as a good thing to be done.
I wonder, who will cry when I die.
But then Do I want someone to cry ? probably I wont care after I am dead.
Yes, he was not at all an affectionate person.
The truth is I dont really remember him a lot anymore. Because we probably never had those great moments together. My family always had tiffs with him.
But I am sure he was a major part of my upbringing. All that was said about him was said by other people.He was a disciplinarian. He cleaned the bungalow surroundings everyday morning as a chore everyday morning. He followed eating timings strictly (that explains his age) also a very fixed diet.
But as far as I remember he was always aloof, fighting with the world unnecessarily. My grand ma filled in that position. She was compassionate. Very loving. Very Gender based role division. She used to bear all that atrocities that my grandpa did. No, I still don't think that involved domestic violence. But yes, he used to keep picking petty fights and she patiently handled them, never really expressed herself. She was a meek person easy to be dominated. She had immense tolerance levels.
She passed away in her sixties. Every relative still speaks of her being good.
I never heard of likewise for grandpa(we called him appa). But Appa was a part of me growing up. He was money minded enough to sue his own kids, but at the same time he helped them immensely too. His kids, my parents, uncles all of them always looked up to him for his saving habits and his basic conscience of keeping the property to himself till he died. Which was one of the reasons why people tolerated him.
Why am I writing all this.
No, I was not immensely grieved of his death. Cause we never shared moments.
But from that day, there has been this immense need to write, that maybe yes I do grieve his death. He was not close, was troublesome, but somewhere he has been a major part of my upbringing.
His memories - teachings - whatever he did for me kept haunting me.
It came to my mind, should a person be remembered for his or her good deeds. Or is it ok to be helping and being bad prima-facie so that people dont feel bad when u die ?
He actually taught me a lesson while leaving. Doing the rightful and not looking at it again as a good thing to be done.
I wonder, who will cry when I die.
But then Do I want someone to cry ? probably I wont care after I am dead.
