Wednesday, June 26, 2013

understanding and getting understood.

I tried this out the other day on a friend. I said, when are you..
And I expected her to complete it. I wanted to find out, if she really could understand, what was going on in my mind, and what was it that I was wanting to say. given the fact that we are wonderful friends and share a lot of things to each other.
She tried to guess, everything.. that she could. And this very basic truth is what i thought about at that time.
NO-ONE can understand what is happening in the other person's mind, all that a person can read is through study, or guess work or intuition.
So this very thinking that someone should understand me irrerspective is so wrong. It is such a mad expectation.
This is a very basic thought but its application is definitely difficult. I think it is just human to expect, give and TRY to understand while knowing the fact that understanding completely or getting understood is not possible ever.

Saturday, June 15, 2013


How does one fall in love? is a billion dollar question with no specific answer.
I just felt even more important is how does become friends with someone. How can the friendship then be irreplaceable? what is it that makes us so open in friendship in front of the other person, that we almost are vulnerable? And then do we really care if someone really takes advantage of that vulnerability?
I was travelling back with a relatively newly made friend the other day, and she was actually saying a few lines which were so similar to what I thought. I almost felt like she was reading my mind. We generally travel across, and she is asked to talk, since I am driving and hence cannot talk/ talking is futile, since she cannot hear me due to the speed.
She was speaking out my mind. And I was simply nodding. I suddenly found out, that all the philosophy that I have was we have.
It just felt wonderful, that without much effort my thoughts were being expressed. the best part was I did not have to speak. And even better was I was sharing with a person who was a reflection, (one of my teachers does say, that we tend to friends with our reflections in attitude/ someone we can identify or be easy with) But here things were different. We became friends gradually. I remember she hardly spoke in the early days of us travelling together.
It just came to my mind, that are we friends because we share the same thoughts, or do start sharing the same thought because we are friends?
No, I don't want to answer it. I simply love the serendipity around..

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Taking for granted

this is another emotion that flows in emotions to friendships, relationships.
This is a hard fact that we truly take up everyone around us for granted, whether we decide or not. I m not sure if we do it on purpose. I think it just happens.
I have a friend of mine, who was shifted to my town a few years back. in these years we hardly met. could be a ratio of 1 meeting per 2 years or something similar. Which is a super scarce ratio. We hardly spoke to each other on the phone.
Each of us was so busy, In work, home, little ones.. whatever.. the reasons are not important.
It was a couple of months back when we even knew that the friend is getting transferred. I know not to some France or Portugal but here within the state. we again took this for granted. Our meeting plans which were being planned from around a year and half ago just kept getting postponed. We simply took time for granted. We felt we are just here in the same city. we can meet anytime around.
and funnily enough we met just a day before the friend left. for around 20 min. And then there
was this mixed feeling of yearning for some time together..With a heart full of sadness and anxiety whether we will be able to meet again.
Just an incident that went along with this was another friend of mine who came to my city to only meet me on the day, I was simply sad about the earlier friend leaving. All i could give her was some time of mine and my lil one along with.
I think this a stark reality that we can b with a person for some time, and then the person kinda disappears from our lives physically. Not to forget the fact that all memories are intact in the mind always. but the yearning to that specific person in life remains.
This is similar to taking our relations for granted too. Little do we know about the time when time takes your near and dear one away. And you suddenly only remember the last time you have seen her alive. In my case, its my mom.

I think there could be one suggestive solution to this. Being 100 percent with the person we are with at the moment. We cannot really control time, the other person's wishes, (what if its just u who has a stronger feeling to meet up and have fun, and the other person is busy, or vice versa for that matter). And being optimistic of sometime when you can be with long lost friends. (I know this concept does'nt really hold true since there are so many platform one can be in touch on)

It just comes to my mind, that maybe more than people we take time for granted, their time.. is there a solution to this.. i think all this will just flow on and on.. and u keep meeting people for the stipulated amount if time they ought be in :) 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Priority and friendship

yes Priorities change. they do.
After u graduate, after u get married, after u get a kid, I still have to go ahead..
there is a lot that takes space in your life. it takes away a lot of time.

then suddenly your friends who were ur priority are sidelined. Then you ought to do what you need to do. You need to keep things away. at bay, could b friendships, emotions, whatever. I know now - a days it is easy to friends be so, since there is facebook.

Can you imagine a friend who is just on your phone contacts and no where else? like not on Fb, linked in, wherever. yes there can be one. But  the physical meetings with friends are becoming a long lost thing in world. You meet your office friends everyday, and yeah there too. even you are a friend in case you are busy you hardly move out to go ahead to meet your who is probably in say 2 bay's away.

And then I wonder how it goes. when you really meet one physically, the talking becomes so less. so very less. All you do is talk about or in fact not talk about a lot of things. like you did earlier.

It just came to my mind, today we are at least in the lucky lot of people who are able to find the long lost ones, and not like those in the old movies wherein we met our long last friends by chance.. the serendipity value has reduced so very much now - a days. 


The other day I was dropping my little one to the creche, she got in, flew a kissie to me and then went in side and started playing.
there was a little boy, a lot more older to her, who was crying maybe because it was his one of the primary days to the creche. He was crying as my little one used in her earlier days. but the fact that he was much more older made it feel worse.
I was wondering, if what was it that made them cry. the fact that they are away from their loved ones for the whole day, yes. I felt bad when I left my mom, I dont remeber since i was just 5 months then. But post that i never cried, I was ok with the fact that i was attending the school willing. And that mom was not with me. But I remember, I had a friend in the upper kindergarten who use to cry everyday :) in fact everyday :)

This creche thing just reminded me of me not crying when my loved ones seperated from me. I never felt like, because i was used to them not being around. Yes I did cry when my Mom passed away, I am not sure if this is an ideal condition, and whether this should be the case. I do not know. that did not mean that there was no love, but then there was no taking granted either.

But this is probably inevitable for my kid, since i need to provide for her by working.
it just came to my mind, that it is the habit that works, emotions work too, but then they fade off slowly slowly. And they do not get wiped off. they do come back, when it is the time too. My daughter would feel the same that I did one day.