Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The goodness of new & good associations

Well, this is the first time that I saw fog actually at a visibility of 10 metres from me. Was it 5 metres ?  Maybe.
It is supposed to be the most dangerous thing. My god! anything can happen.
My car did not go ahead of 5 speed. Have I ever done that before?
Oh, it is supposed to be scary!!!

But guess what.
I was so happy!!. I felt like I was driving on Sinhagad. We had been there as a family when I was in 8-9th. it was awesome walking through the clouds - actual clouds - foggy mornings in Mahabaleshwar! All this seen in the very temperate environment. Nothing serious, nothing dangerous!
I felt like I wanted to get out of the car and walk through the Fog - smog - whatever - cloud like thingie on a national highway !!!

I sang to the tunes of wonderful songs until I saw a few students walking through the fog, and offered them a lift.

Seriously I only felt happy driving through the fog, dangerous fog today.
For obvious reasons, everyone else in the office was troubled due to the fog.

So, actually, the same dangerous situation turned into an amusing one for me due to the great associations I had with the fog earlier!
And of course the joy of new!

Sometimes it comes to my mind, maybe can we turn every situation into one like this?
Do we really have a positive association with every situation that we face? Can we find one?

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Suicide! well anything but stupid

I was talking a friend of mine who was talking of her friend's wife who tried committing a suicide. She referred to her as what a stupid woman, cant she understand that her suicidal plans cause the family so much of trouble!

Yes it was mindless of her to say that. She is a dear friend, but I told her on face that it was extremely mindless to say that.

Depression hitting its peak is equivalent to a suicidal tendency. It can hit anyone.

A person is cornered to a level that he or she cannot recover makes that person suicidal.

There have been many different posts, whatever announcements that you can talk to me come to me for a cup of coffee, tea whatever if you are feeling depressed.
But does that help ?

I do not know.

Depression can hit anyone anytime. Be it someone like to Dipika Padukone to anyone at all.

Reasons ?
1. I read it could be due to indigestion :P
2. Most famous ones are post-partum depression - i.e. depression after child birth to the mother.
3. Love or heart breaks
4. Losing loved ones. be it due to a divorce, heart break or death.
5. Losing sight of the path ahead, be it in career, marriage anywhere.
6. Monotonous life
7. Basically no place left to go to
8. Handling burden that you actually cannot. could be work, home, relationship. Anything.

All this seems like a very natural thing to happen for people who have never faced depression.

Genetically few people are more prone to depression due to their chemical structures.
Just adding in a link speaking of the same.

NO ONE, absolutely wants to be depressed happily.

It happens.

All we can do is to help. Understand ?
That will come in only if you are genuinely concerned about that person. Please for God's sake and your own sake don't just pass judgements or give some mad advices if you are not concerned.

I have seen people taking advantage of the situation very manipulatively.
Not sure if I want to judge them or give a few examples here. No one is perfect.  I have seen people moving ahead of the people under depression. Or breaking ties with that person.

It is very difficult for a person under depression to react sanely to things. (I am not saying they go insane). It just becomes difficult for them to be themselves leave alone fulfilling expectations.
Please check if you are expecting too much out of them.

Are there some symptoms ?

Depression needs to be looked into at the earliest. It is likewise difficult to understand for the individual as well, if depressed.

1. Change in behaviour (someone extremely talkative suddenly )
2. disinterest in making new friends
3. disinterest in doing everyday chores
4. Not surfacing anywhere.

I am not a psychologist but I know that the person starts behaving differently for sure.

Can we help the people who are depressed to at least not move to the suicidal cliff ?
I am sure if there is a perfect solution. But we all can try. Maybe.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

In pursuit of Happiness (?) - keep working

No I do not understand. Is it happiness that we need to pursue or just be and let happiness come over like a butterfly and sit with us for some time ?

I am currently working with a visionary - Sudhir Sharma.
He just made an observation about me - that I am a methodical designer. That i can create numbers around Design.
He asked me what is my aim in life.

And I have one aim for sure.
To live for 35 more years. I am going to extend those many years for sure.

And he was startled. He then called everyone in the office and asked everyone - what is their aim
EVERYONE answered - they want to be happy.

Well, I just realised my transformation from a free bird to counting value of each line that a designer draws. To making money or better - trying to make money out of any design work.

With an ultimate aim of helping the designers to figure out their worth in the market.
Well anyone can come for a consultation as to how to earn through their art.

Through this have I lost the essence of giving in freely to the temptation of color smell ? To holding the brush? to being lost in my world ?

Did I miss being happy / yearning for being happy ?
Or did I just give up on that wish to forget it ?
Or was I simply content on what I got ?

Sometimes it just comes to my mind, that maybe I just gave up on the possibility of being happy.
I feel its a butterfly. Will come in, settle for sometime and fly away. And i am thankful that this happiness does come to me on its own!!

Why wait for it ? Keep working!?

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Someone hitting you hard! on face!

I met and dealt with people who manipulated me for a lot of time now.

There are these people who are not well educated, but are very good at manipulating people. I have seen such examples very closely. they are almost taught from the childhood how to call people bad, make them feel bad and not live properly and not let live properly.

And oh yes, how could I forget. They are also very good at spreading lies about good souls. Yes I am calling myself a good soul here. I know I am one.

There are people who want to establish themselves in power by making people look less.
Gosh what I am talking about! There are so many people who can do this! look at the governments now.

Am I discussing politics here ?

No, I don't want to.

But these kinda people who want to show that they are sweet, loving caring, oh my God, and dunno what, are the deadly snakes who ought to bite you anytime with their venom. Forever. And make you feel less! in everything that you do. And mind you they are everywhere. Not only at home in the form of you know who. They are present everywhere. In office, on bus stops, on stations, maybe a little in ourselves now. Because we stayed with them. It is difficult to go back to the purest form we were in. Our soul were in.

That sadistic behaviour of feeling good in injuring someone else is sought by so many!!! What is funny is they haven't injured you physically so cannot even report. 

Mind you the venom has no antidote. It is so difficult to remove the guilt or whatever they do instil in you.

So what is the answer ?

I seriously do no know. I am trying to find out. I want to be free. Away.

Sometimes it comes to my mind that yes there are no solutions to problems at times. So what do we do of those problems ? Let them stay with us ? forever ?

This blog is going to be not like all the other ones. 
Because by now, I have been injured so many times that i don't have the courage to gather myself up and speak directly. What I will keep doing is to fight, fight for a long time. 

Friday, February 10, 2017

We are proud of you!

I was returning from a business meeting.
Wit my boss and a colleague.
This colleague of mine has done the same schooling as me, junior by batch, and then joined this office. He has been working here for a long time.
We stopped at a place on our way back home. Since this colleague's relatives were going to meet him.

They absolutely admired my boss, his work and our company. And spoke so many good things about the same.
And then while speaking of all this, they explicitly mentioned that they were proud of him to be excelling to come up to this position.

I kept thinking. Was it easier to say that a guy has achieved. Was it about the humbleness of the people around, that they felt he was really good and they were proud of him.

Has anyone ever said this about me! Did anyone really feel the need to ?
I have done a lot of work, been through mad circumstances, helped n number of people.
Have I really encountered a situation when someone, my close kin has said that I am proud of all that you do and manage?

Is it because I am woman and its no big deal if I did it. Or is it that people around me are so full of themselves that they do not realise that they could say such a thing across.

It just comes to my mind, may be I can say that to people around me. Which I off course do. For sure, and will keep doing.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Do you need help!

This is a very small story ! 

I have joined a cosy small design setup. One day, I was working and concentrating on my work completely. 
We are a mix of people of mix age groups. 

Suddenly a senior age group person came and asked me, do you want some help ? 

I was startled. 
Never have I been asked this before. I was stunned for a moment! 
We all are given a task we need to complete and we strive to complete it. Rarely have we also done this, to ask anyone n the office whether anyone needs help in what ever he/ she is doing. 

But this senior person (Pradeepji) - he is almost the age of my uncle, asked, maybe because of the generation that he came from. He did not understand the complex UX process that I was handling in the office. I told him so politely. To which he still did not budge and told me the pointers wherein he could help. He was even eager to learn so that he could help. 

That was a first in my complete professional career.  

We (our) generation have forgotten (or not taught ) how to help in office. Or maybe we are more than bogged down by what we have in the plate and rarely have the luxury of time in office. Then we have the ever pressing need of balancing work - life. What if it isn't balanced ? 

It came to my mind, is it possible, I can do this, - to ask if I can help to anyone ? 

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Can we just be and let be ? accepting things as is ?

I dont remember if I read this somewhere or wrote it myself in my notebook.

Sometimes the basic need  for happiness is overwhelming. Life will be easier if we understand that we dont need to be happy and fulfilled all the time. 
Being inert to various things will help to be peaceful. 

Maybe being peaceful is more important than being happy. 

I was working on something in the morning, completed a movie, not a very happy ending. It just got me thinking.

We tend to associate happiness with fulfillment. We want our wishes to be true. Even if they are associated with someone else in life. We, in a way through expectations are asking people to behave like we want them to.

When those expectation are not fulfilled, we become unhappy. 

We want to be in control, of everything. we dont want that pimple that comes up in teenage to wanting our kids/ Grand-kids to listen to what we say when we are old. From the political scenarios to Cricket to art. From birth to someone's death. We want to give birth as well as not want someone to die! I wish my mom was around even today! 

Gosh! Everything. 

But the truth is, can we really be in a position that we can control everything around us. 
Can we not having control be just natural ? Can we be in the position of uncomfort naturally ? a baby comes to birth through pain not happiness. although there is happiness post birth. 

Dont we have to go through similar pain when in other situations too ? 
Its just came to my mind. Why is this Big Ado about 'happiness' ? I think it should simply be ok to be unhappy. To make a gloomy face through the day when in pain. Why does one has to carry that smile on face ? I think this gloomy face/ gloomy mood could probably bring in a bodily reaction which will make us happy. Which will keep us from getting depressed to the level of hurting our internal systems (say endocrine) and remain healthy. (not sure if to live more gloomy enough). I trust human body will find a way to get ok. 

Sometimes it just comes to my mind, that maybe this 'happiness' thing should be beyond just presenting yourself. One should be able to have a hanging face and not smile if he/ she does not want to. In the quest of spreading happiness are we hurting our own selves to the level of chronic depression or some chronic disease with no cure ? 

Can we just be and let be ?