Wednesday, December 28, 2011

every-day is good

Oh the good old days- yes this is what we all feel. We all feel there was a time when i used to happy.. but if we really remember, during that happy time - did we think that there will be a day that we will be happier. that we will have that happiest day in life. NO I don't think there is any Happiest day.. because all days are happy. just that we realize it a little too later.
In school, i always felt- Oh! when I will start earning I will be happiest, then I will be able to buy all that I want. And now when that is really the case, I think so what if I can buy everything i need? I still want that birthday gift I used to get in school. That free life.
Responsibility. That is the word - and bang! you come back to reality. You come out of that looking into the beautiful old days.. Yes maybe today we are more responsible than yesterday. and tomorrow will be more. and more.
So it just came to my mind- this actually means that today this moment - I can share with my colleagues, my daughter, my kin, my friends is happy. live it fullest. and yes it will never come back.. never. .but it is there to stay now!! feels good.

Monday, December 12, 2011

THREE ZERO - thirty

Awwww..... I still cant get hold of it.. I suddenly have to be a grown up. I still look back to my childhood for problem solution activities. I have still so much to do which I haven't done.
I had decided a few things to do after i start earning. It is a very funny list. I am sure everyone has one..
1.I wanted to buy my own Barbie, her doll house, her new dresses. hehe.
2.I wanted to go to a place full of nature, all alone, and stand there in open air like they do in Titanic.
3.I wanted to wear all fashionable things, which I could not as a kid.(which i have never tried and i don't think now i will or can)
4.I wanted to own all the story books in the world.
5.I wanted to drive on my own, a plane, fly in sky.
6.Draw anyone live to utter perfection. (life drawing)
7.learn one language per year (so that i will know the amount of languages per year of life)
8.i wanted to start a women's - all girls movement to be self - sufficient
9.I wanted a make-up kit, with all color lipstick (leave alone the fact that i don't use lipstick now.)
all kinds of mad things..
I agree, adults are kids with money. I still look forward to fulfill these childhood dreams, just that i have a child now too. Hence we will be two kid together, One child - one year old, and another thirty year old - tomorrow..
sometimes it just comes to my mind, that irrespective however old we get, we do keep looking back into our childhood to wish for dreams and to fulfill them ..

I am happy i will be living again..

Friday, December 2, 2011

art by

I guess I was in sixth or eighth grade, I am not sure. There was an exhibition in my school. We had to carry some artworks. I and my mom and her artist friend, padma aunty had made this huge A-1 size peacock with peacock feathers and pistachio covers on the huge thermocol sheet..And I had put (in huge letters) Art BY- Sanmitra
I remeber, mom and me used to also go shopping, we ought to get the very unusual thing in the store or rather the street. She actually taught me to think beyond the ordinary as a kid. Then that became a habit.I kept saying that i want to do something different in my life.
I did not know the jargon of innovation or inventive that time.I even used to say I want be the greatest 'drawer'- the person who draws-artist-on the earth.And mom used to always reply by- study for now, you can keep drawing all your life. And that is exactly what I am doing currently.
I am convocating in a couple of days from the National Institute of Design.That was more like dream that mom had seen for me. She was always proud of my achievements. Be it coming first in the class or getting a good job or achieving something so specifically..I always looked forward to my result days, my birthdays, because those were the times, when mom was very sweet with me. so little moments..
How I wish she was here to see her 'ART BY' daughter convocating from the leading design institute of India. How i wish, i got that hug/ that appreciation/ that smile which only she could give. I really can't express this in words.
Sometimes it comes to my mind, that we can keep ourselves from sharing grief. But we need to share happiness, with the right people at right time.somehow this happiness seems so incomplete or at times nullified without her around.