Wednesday, March 14, 2012

the provider's pain

I was trying to take my daughter to the creche today. She cried, and she did not want to come with me. She cried baba - baba, (father) she is a one and half year old. She still knew when i am dressed to go to office. She did not want to come to me. I felt so bad, so painful. She wanted to stay and bid me a good bye. Is this just the beginning of her growing up, or is it that she does not need me now. Or rather will not need me when grown up?
But why this need thing? why should i think that she should need me? or rather be with me forever? how much ever I love her. How much ever I do for her?
yes I remembered and tried to mug up these lines while coming to office, crying somberly below my sunglasses.
Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Act because you need to act – Paulo coehlo

but this really hard to digest. I am so much in love with my daughter, I somehow cannot take the no from her about her not want to love me back. Or only coming to me when needed. then it sometimes comes to my mind, am I just the provider? is there a provider for me for a change?

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