One happens to become what the close-by society rewards.
Being outspoken, being honest to everyone and being brutally honest about everything and everyone are the qualities that the immediate society next to me rewarded.
Until I moved to the North of India. It is a completely different country.
Off course that element of being a single mother and hence being judged at cannot be overlooked for sure. What I was not rewarded or probably what I did not or could not learn during my early years of upbringing, (yes, I am probably mid life, if I live long that is), is being manipulative, being a bully, humble bragging, being political, and loving to not follow the rules to the extent of disturbing others. Yes, all this is called as 'chalta hai' in the North and is carried forward to the whole world as the Indian sentiment. - its human to be like this.
Along with that, yes, my patience level has increased. because of the 'koi nahi' - its ok for almost every thing. - its human to be like this.
I just saw a 12 year old learning to ride a 2 wheeler here. yeah so what. - its human to be like this.
A sports teacher hit a little kid with her car, and let the kid lie there until he had a fracture, but then so what? - its human to be like this.
People smoke in the washrooms, making everyone else uncomfortable. And beat that, they also curse you for feeling uncomfortable likewise and judge you on that, so what ? - its human to be like this.
A person who poses as a friend happens to pull out all that has been happening in your life - well, for curiosity sake - or is it entertainment ? so what ? (trust me, I met a lot of people like that - with the frequency that I used to let people in my life). - its human to be like this.
Then the poser friend also happens to use that information in various ways to make you uncomfortable enough to not being able to say anything at all, and lets not forget, make it look like it is your mistake. so what ? its human to be like this. Well, this one should be rewarded for the masterstroke in intelligence!
The poser friends happen to be passing on every little bit of information that you confided into their own entertaining political good.
And back bitching - oh that, so what? People have a doctorate in it. its human to be like this.
Again a poser friend shouts at you, and then shouts again - let go !! So what ? its human to be like this.
A doctor - extremely educated, well earning, sitting in a 5 star hospital, yes, they exist here, does not think a wink before declaring you have cancer in front of your little kid, so what ? its human to be like this.
A professor does not hesitate telling a story of a woman and her daughter committing a suicide due to excessive freedom (well, that professor feels, coloring hair is excessive freedom). She does not think a wink to understand how would it impact the little one. So what ? its human to be like this. Oh, yes, I should not have taken the little kid to her visit, yes my mistake. But then do they have a trustworthy childcare system here, so what ?
People love to drive on the wrong lane. so what ? its human to be like this.
People love to flirt around with everyone irrespective. Let's not forget, genuine is very low here. So, flirting to get some favor in return. Or yes, that is how people do get things in return.Gosh, that feeling of being used! It feels worse when you cant use someone in return.
So what? its human to be like this.
That is exactly why altruism is taken with a pinch of salt here. Because people think, there is some ulterior motive. Then just for information, altruism gives the highest form of self satisfaction!
No one helps without a transaction.
Genuine is low here, hence the need of brands which ensure quality. So what ? its human to be like this.
Transactional relationships - maybe a lot of them are transactional after all. haah, Sanmitra, you realised this pretty soon in your life, didnt you?
At least people in the north are sweet to talk on face. so what ?
And then, I have a high protecting wall around me now. Yes, so what !
What? I need to protect myself and my family from all this. I truly don't know till when will I be able to do so. No idea. I am sure I will have to give in one day. Give in one day, to either become like them or quit sooner. I have finally shut down and it is going to be even more difficult to let people in.
I miss the people's person I used to be.
Being outspoken, being honest to everyone and being brutally honest about everything and everyone are the qualities that the immediate society next to me rewarded.
Until I moved to the North of India. It is a completely different country.
Off course that element of being a single mother and hence being judged at cannot be overlooked for sure. What I was not rewarded or probably what I did not or could not learn during my early years of upbringing, (yes, I am probably mid life, if I live long that is), is being manipulative, being a bully, humble bragging, being political, and loving to not follow the rules to the extent of disturbing others. Yes, all this is called as 'chalta hai' in the North and is carried forward to the whole world as the Indian sentiment. - its human to be like this.
Along with that, yes, my patience level has increased. because of the 'koi nahi' - its ok for almost every thing. - its human to be like this.
I just saw a 12 year old learning to ride a 2 wheeler here. yeah so what. - its human to be like this.
A sports teacher hit a little kid with her car, and let the kid lie there until he had a fracture, but then so what? - its human to be like this.
People smoke in the washrooms, making everyone else uncomfortable. And beat that, they also curse you for feeling uncomfortable likewise and judge you on that, so what ? - its human to be like this.
A person who poses as a friend happens to pull out all that has been happening in your life - well, for curiosity sake - or is it entertainment ? so what ? (trust me, I met a lot of people like that - with the frequency that I used to let people in my life). - its human to be like this.
Then the poser friend also happens to use that information in various ways to make you uncomfortable enough to not being able to say anything at all, and lets not forget, make it look like it is your mistake. so what ? its human to be like this. Well, this one should be rewarded for the masterstroke in intelligence!
The poser friends happen to be passing on every little bit of information that you confided into their own entertaining political good.
And back bitching - oh that, so what? People have a doctorate in it. its human to be like this.
Again a poser friend shouts at you, and then shouts again - let go !! So what ? its human to be like this.
A doctor - extremely educated, well earning, sitting in a 5 star hospital, yes, they exist here, does not think a wink before declaring you have cancer in front of your little kid, so what ? its human to be like this.
A professor does not hesitate telling a story of a woman and her daughter committing a suicide due to excessive freedom (well, that professor feels, coloring hair is excessive freedom). She does not think a wink to understand how would it impact the little one. So what ? its human to be like this. Oh, yes, I should not have taken the little kid to her visit, yes my mistake. But then do they have a trustworthy childcare system here, so what ?
People love to drive on the wrong lane. so what ? its human to be like this.
People love to flirt around with everyone irrespective. Let's not forget, genuine is very low here. So, flirting to get some favor in return. Or yes, that is how people do get things in return.Gosh, that feeling of being used! It feels worse when you cant use someone in return.
So what? its human to be like this.
That is exactly why altruism is taken with a pinch of salt here. Because people think, there is some ulterior motive. Then just for information, altruism gives the highest form of self satisfaction!
No one helps without a transaction.
Genuine is low here, hence the need of brands which ensure quality. So what ? its human to be like this.
Transactional relationships - maybe a lot of them are transactional after all. haah, Sanmitra, you realised this pretty soon in your life, didnt you?
At least people in the north are sweet to talk on face. so what ?
And then, I have a high protecting wall around me now. Yes, so what !
What? I need to protect myself and my family from all this. I truly don't know till when will I be able to do so. No idea. I am sure I will have to give in one day. Give in one day, to either become like them or quit sooner. I have finally shut down and it is going to be even more difficult to let people in.
I miss the people's person I used to be.
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